Right Steps & Poui Trees

Department of Dress Code Compliance Opens for Business

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In case you missed this news item, I have posted the article below in full, as I wouldn’t want readers of this blog to be unaware of this important new public service!dress code portal headline highlighted

Public Encouraged to Make Use of New Dress Code Compliance Portal

Friday, September 13, 2019

The new Department of Dress Code Compliance (D²C²) is now open for business and is ready to assist the Jamaican people with a problem that has plagued the society for decades.

dress code portal sign

Not allowed at one Government Ministry. Portal will now provide clarity on what qualifies as short shorts & mini skirts. Also exactly how much or how little of “the Bosom” may be exposed.

Having missed the original launch deadline of April 1, 2019, due to unavoidable technical problems, the new agency (located on Constant Spring Road) now stands ready to help people navigate the complex maze of  dress code rules – written, unwritten, published, unpublished, public, secret and totally imaginary – that are part of life in Jamaica.

A centralized database has been established containing all dress codes for state institutions and institutions that receive public funding. Members of the public are now able to access the database using the online D²C² portal.

Minister Without Portfolio in the Office of the Prime Minister with responsibility for public decorum, keeping up appearances and protection of civilization as we know it, Hon. Beidi Booke said, “Many people are frustrated when they turn up at government agencies, hospitals and courts and are denied access because of inappropriate attire. Now, using the D²C² portal, people can upload pictures of their clothes, shoes and jewelry and get pre-clearance before they even leave home. Think of the valuable man-hours, woman-hours and child-hours that can be saved with this new system.”

Minister Booke noted that partnerships have been forged with the Jamaica Library Service (JLS) to facilitate persons who do not have access to computers and may want to utilise the dress code portal. The Minister also pointed out the small business opportunities associated with assisting people to access the portal.

The Jamaica Teachers Association (JTA) has welcomed the launch of the new agency, having collaborated with D²C² on the design of the special Skoolaz Rules R Rules app. Students and parents will be able to download the app to their mobile phones and use it to upload photos to check uniform lengths, tightness of pants, hairstyles and more against the existing and soon-to-be-disclosed dress codes of any government assisted educational institution in Jamaica.

dress code portal - uniform

Use Skoolaz Rules R Rules app & avoid uniform length mishaps!

With the easy pre-clearance process, parents will no longer have to worry about wasted bus fares or their children’s safety as a result of being sent home from school because a uniform isn’t 6 inches above the ankle or 6 inches below the knee or because they have more than 4 bubbles in their hair.

dress code portal - nose ring

Small but dangerous nose rings pose threats to safety and decorum of our courts.

A member of the public outside the Supreme Court on King Street said she looked forward to using the portal. “Dem tell mi fren shi haffi tek out har nose ring fi guh eena di court. Wid dis system now, yu cyan tek pitcha of yu nose, yu aise, any part ah yu baddi fi dem pass it before yu reach.”

MP Everald Coolingdown has said the new portal will enable the public to easily comply with the dress code for parliament. “The standard has fallen to a very low level, where people walk into this House in anything they want. I have seen some situations here where people are in jeans and T-shirts in the gallery here. The only thing I don’t see them in is body blouse. Some of the things they wear in the gallery is totally unacceptable. People can use the new portal to check their sleeve length, their shoe style, their collar style. Pre-clearance will help to preserve the dignity of parliament and will allow for a smoother flow on busy days.”

Leader of Opposition Business MP Allswell welcomed the launch as a more streamlined method of implementing adherence to dress codes. He also pointed out that the previous administration had tabled a white paper on a dress code portal policy and had actually run pilot projects in three parishes utilising the Social Development Commission.

A public education programme will be rolled out shortly using the slogan for the new portal – Nuh Mek Dem Tun Yu Back! Pre-clearance for Better Adherence!Dress code portal family

 

 

Author: rightpouitree

Navigating the real and virtual worlds and sometimes writing about what I observe...

10 thoughts on “Department of Dress Code Compliance Opens for Business

  1. Reblogged this on Petchary's Blog and commented:
    This blog post from Susan Goffe has just made my Sunday! Perhaps not coincidentally, some of us had been discussing on Twitter the useful role that satire can play in helping us navigate those unexpectedly treacherous waters we may come across in our everyday lives…when visiting a Jamaican Government office, for example. Susan decided to act on it! Pre-clearance! Thank you, Susan, for this. I was so busy with the “eye roll” emoji on this topic…Now I can just have a good laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Did you apply for and get approval for this use of satire? If not, expect a reprimand from the Ministry of Unsolicited Gladness (MUG).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hilarious! I hope it doesn’t give the GOJ any ideas, though…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You had me going there for a while, just because that’s the kind of thing some officials would think is a good and perfectly reasonable idea. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person